A lot to be

“This moment is not life waiting to happen, goals waiting to be achieved, words waiting to be spoken, connections waiting to be made, regrets waiting to evaporate, aliveness waiting to be felt, enlightenment waiting to be gained. No. Nothing is waiting. This is it. This moment is life.”

Jeff Foster, Falling in Love with Where You Are

More than one friend has confirmed it firmly. Everything is fine just as it is. Bring your life, bring you aliveness, bring it all. Years of framing life through the lens of fluid yet seeking storytelling and years of lovingly yet safely guiding others has left some of my inner parts unseen and unspoken of. The time is here to share this deeper level of closeness by committing to the subtle here and now, to the unbearably light yes-ness of dear connections and the fragility of a spiritual path born out of the devoted decision to walk on it together. Whereas attachment triggers feelings, commitment is also a repeated, mindful decision. On a feeling level, fear likes to be right and see its projections turned into a comfortable nest of self-affirming truths. Wisdom tells me though that fear never knows what it does not know, is even afraid to be intelligently hesitant. Fear stops the show before any real-life tragedy might have catapulted me to overcome internalized, emotional constrictions. I need my mind here to redirect a hurt heart towards trust. My mind invites my heart to surrender as the former knows that the latter is burdened by an old burn out. Make the choice, Lot, my mind says, make the choice that likens the vividness of every lived moment to the open perception of reality as it is, to the open sky that only an opened heart allows you to see everywhere, anywhere.

I see the sensitized shame of that free spirited girl as she places her hand over her mouth. She absorbs the flickering candlelight, a soothing mantra and an open dance floor to stay present with her intensity.

“The work is done, stop yourself the moment you feel you need to work”, a friend said patiently.

There is a lot of complexity, yes, as there is a lot to be.