Shaken, not Broken: the next chapter…
I am (re)starting a diary and I will share these fragments online. Also catalyzed by the keynote that I will give at the International Dabrowski congress 2024 in Denver, I will share reflections on my current existential journey under the working title ‘Shaken, not Broken: personal transformation in times of global, existential threat.’ While heat waves are defying the lives of many sentient beings around the globe, and I am personally undergoing a disintegration of limiting beliefs, actions and supposed freedom, I feel increasingly drawn towards an integration of a calling that goes beyond short-term personal safety and satisfaction.
The theme of next year’s congress is ‘Living the theory’. Ironically, my own journey has a lot to do with ‘shedding the theoretical skin’ and focusing more on the actual practices that challenge, condition and embody what is real to me (and, from hindsight, might or might not reflect Dabrowski’s view). Besides as a fruit of growing awareness of our global ecological situation, this process has come about as a response to the deep existential experience of becoming a mother. The pre-natal growth of our daughter drew my attention back into my body. On the experiential level, this came with an intense calmness that I had not known before or could only remember vaguely. At the same time, this calmness felt very real, a heartfelt remembrance of inner truths that made life so much more vivid and powerful in the moment, as such. After birth, parenting has been challenging and confrontational. A restlessness stirred up, egotistical tendencies had to disintegrate to make room for the profound interdependency with our daughter and us, both as parents and partners. Whilst creating a home for the mesmerizing little human being our daughter is, I noticed that I was not feeling at home. In the house, in my body, in my persona. A truth that I had knew all along rose to the surface and wasn’t deniable, or ‘managed intellectually,’ anymore. I felt a fervent desire to recognize, explore and integrate this truth, both for myself and my loved ones, although it wasn’t clear to me how this would translate into a practical form. Furthermore, both the desire to protect my daughter’s and other generations’ future and the experience of living in a small ecosystem (our family) rather than a somewhat confined individual psychic landscape made me even more sensitive towards the state of our planet’s ecosystems. What is my calling, how do I live this calling, and how does this practice relate to conscious care of my environment?
For more insight into the social and emotional processes leading up to this diary and existential journey, please see our video Shaken, not Broken (part of International Dabrowski Congress 2022).
Stay tuned 😊….