The dawn of individuation
Every personal encounter reminds me of life’s potential. We all resonate in different ways. Some walk by form afar and their brief smile is the sole concrete way in which our lives enliven each other. No minor passage, this coincidence precisely highlights the inescapable intimate nature of our interdependency.
Others are radically close, I try my hardest to keep them on a distance by producing radically contracting smiles, trying to manipulate the impending intimacy into a form that feels suitable to my frightened heart. Some of them don't mind, they just wait patiently and contain the autonomous space I need to relax and invite them over. In.
My intensity may intimidate. It seems to offer nutrients, courage, rest, clarity and at times a good portion of frivolous ecstasy. The intimidation, honestly, is also reflective of the mentalized walls inside. I know, I might as well call them by their names. Your patience, trust and fearlessness erodes them.
Truly opening all your sensorial eyes, letting a life beyond the tangible guide you from the inside out and the outside in, renders the whole world a part of your inner most being. It seems we can’t easily access this intensity all at once. For many it is an incremental process. Next to learning, a lot of unlearning paves the way for an effortless kind of presence with the emerging present.
I am shaping my ability to love. Love is an activity and process more than a moment of heightened connection. Peak experiences do offer glimpses into reality as it is unfolding from the depth of our magical unconscious. Here we intuit transformations that cannot be tempered, that can be hindered though by context and resistance. Can we allow all of life, can we allow the porous encounter with (the) other, to show us what is most truthful to our ever-changing selves?
Dear friendships offer containment for subtle and gross lessons in intimacy; how do I love them deeply. We all embody different intensities of polarities, and we all enjoy dancing with each other – that is not a coincidence. Every dance is a practice. Practicing our full, awakened vitality, a bundle of unutterable emotional shades is expressed, polarities merge into one collective being. We offer each other awe, renewed confidence, and the refreshing lack of self-defying control.
Our longing for this dance is our longing to awaken. To be present with life as it is. Aliveness is rising from within my pelvis. Subtly but surely, I consciously allow myself to feel into that birthplace of forms. Do I dare to do so while holding your gaze?
Dauntingly intimate, there is no escape route, whatever I thought was ‘mine’ annihilates as we exhale in synchrony.
Dance with me darling, dance towards the dawn of your individuation.