Explosively me
Hello, who’s there, inside? I am a bit afraid of my own voice, or force. Or core. Is it explosive? Well, yes, a big bang of one human life waiting to happen wholly and intensely. Parts of conditioned-me prefer to be implosive – some might call that introvert, which sounds much better and feels comfortably safe. I am sure some of the associated behavioral tendencies qualify as self-sabotage, even if circumstances are genuinly testing. But, wat is testing, actually? Rusty projections are since identifying with them imprisons my thinking, feeling, and actions. A learned sense of safety may well turn out to be a bundle of constructions.
This period, I feel like the best way to break through, or soften, let go and discharge these self-denying habits, is to name them directly within a context of attuned witnesses. With the gentle yet forceful awareness of somebody that ‘has seen it all’, my mind’s eye may see through the layers of hardened skin and reach my heart’s wisdom, communicating authenticity by allowing my motions to align with a felt sense of life. Something I could not do without the nourishing support of mentors disguised as friends , and everyone else cocreating what I, somewhat hesistant, call 'my path'.
Choosing words is, logically, a bit hard these days. However fluid and playful interpretation can be, unfiltered honesty is more important than creativity these months. This is challenging, my ego comes with an identification with the one thing I always knew I ‘had’ within arm’s reach: creativity. And hey, if the things I say must reflect the ‘real me’….well, this comes with quite a lot of pressure, of course.
Out of the emptiness that will lay bare after this emphasis on transparent self-recognition, new artistic forms will arise, I am sure, trusting laws that surpass my decision making. Because surely, creativity and honesty do not have to be opposites. Once the creational source called sensitivity is unmasked, creative energies otherwise involved in veiling depth of being are unleashed.
Ironically, a pressing emphasis on ‘self’ will dissolve simultaneously.
Whoever I interpreted to be may turn out to be much more unknown than I dare to intuit! This dance between playfulness and seriousness, or truthfulness, is stretching the emotional reach of every learned conviction. Embodiment is the stage of this dance.
Want to dive deeper into the question what authenticity really – REALLY – is? Settle yourself in a comfortable position and experience how this podcast about 'authentic presence' may or may not resonate with you.
*And see the following page for the next edition of our training in authentic presence which starts in March, will be held in Brussels, in English (the precise information about dates, location, and accomodation will soon be published).